


Shine Bright

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-23
Updated: 2013-12-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 17:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1096856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyo's fingertip lightly traced the rim of his mug, the steaming hot tea within not quite catching his interest at the moment. Across the table from him, an older man sat, years of touring and going flat-out, non-stop having taken their toll across the beautiful visage. He could catch every line from the corner of his eyes, the ones that stretched across his cheeks from years of smiling and laughing and the few across his forehead from far too many hours staring intently at a computer screen while he wrote out songs. In each and every line, he could find the passage of the time they'd had, side-by-side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shine Bright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piyokolove](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=piyokolove).



> for the direngrey_yaoi Winter Exchange.  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame  
> Song[s]: "Diamonds" by Rihanna

Kyo's fingertip lightly traced the rim of his mug, the steaming hot tea within not quite catching his interest at the moment. Across the table from him, an older man sat, years of touring and going flat-out, non-stop having taken their toll across the beautiful visage. He could catch every line from the corner of his eyes, the ones that stretched across his cheeks from years of smiling and laughing and the few across his forehead from far too many hours staring intently at a computer screen while he wrote out songs. In each and every line, he could find the passage of the time they'd had, side-by-side. He remembered the day they met and how, even then, Die's face had shown the signs of repetitive actions, the laugh lines started before he'd ever hit twenty years of age.

A smile slid across Kyo's own lips as he held his hand out over the top of the cup, watching his fingers tremble there for a moment before balling it up into a fist and settling it on the table. Age hadn't been all that kind to them, at least not in the remnants of what they'd neglected to care for all those years. Though, even now, Kyo had to admit Die was still gorgeous... much like an aged whiskey. All the signs of time were there, but nothing could stop the man underneath from showing through. And every single time that mouth turned up in a smile, it took thirty years off in a heartbeat. 

Sitting back in his seat, Kyo's head turned to gaze outside, following whatever it was that had caught Die's attention for the past few minutes. He watched out the window... the rush to and fro of Tokyo, still never silent. The rain beat down and it didn't stop a single person from their trek to another part of the city. Die was caught watching a young couple, huddled up under a too-small umbrella. They were laughing, half of each of them wet, the other half dry. For an instant, envy sparked through Kyo as he recalled all the things he'd had to forgo being where he'd been... being who he had. Romance... the guilty pleasure of doing something as simple as sharing an umbrella with someone on a rainy day. Those were the things they had never been able to have. Over the years, sure they'd tried and failed... tried again and come out the other side rough and bitter. 

All the nights spent alone had taken their toll more than anything for Kyo. More than once he'd found himself stuck in a place that had become harder and harder to pull himself from until it had finally been that that had driven him to the brink and forced him to admit a few things to himself... and those around him. They'd pressed on still, another ten years from that moment, all of them well past their primes, but still loving every minute of time they were recording or on stage. When it had all ended... it hadn't been in heartbreak and tears. They had simply found that their fountain had run dry at long last. The years of fruit their trees had born finally coming up barren. And they'd ended it with what still staked up as one of the best world tours in history. Nearly a year's worth of stops, playing their hearts out at each and every one. When it had finally come to an end, they had all agreed they'd keep in touch and when it struck them... a reunion would be found, no matter what else was going on in their lives.

Out of all of it, Kyo missed how close he'd become with the other members. It hadn't been something overly obvious while it was in his life. A call here, a text there, saying hello to someone each day. But once it was gone it had been like plucking a piece of his heart out and slapping it on cold, harsh table of reality. It was then that he'd made up his mind to never lose track of where or what Die was doing. From the first moment, he had made sure to call him up every other week, text or email him here or there, send all the requisite cards to everyone. But it was Die that had become his beacon in the darkness after they'd parted... just as he'd known it would always end up being. There were a million reasons for it, but most of it lay in something Kyo had known for a little over two decades of knowing the man... something he'd never vocalized in all of their time together.

Die's hand landed on his own, yanking him back into reality and he turned his head to stare at the other for a long moment. "I'm sorry.. I-"

"Got lost in your own thoughts?" Die offered him a soft smile, retracting his hand and wrapping it back around his own steaming mug, his holding coffee rather than tea. "Yeah... you do that. Even after all these years."

Before he even knew it, a laugh bubbled up from deep inside. Shaking his head, he offered a little shrug of his shoulders and then a quiet sigh as he made sure to keep his eyes on the man before him. It wasn't too often he got back up from Kyoto to actually see him right here in front of him, but he made sure to make the effort twice a year or so... and Die did the same in the other direction. Never as close as they'd once been, but never all that much further apart. But for all of that, Kyo knew it was a special kind of bond they had that nothing ever seemed to change between them. No amount of time, space, relationships, or work could come between what they had. 

Finally picking up his cup, Kyo took a sip of the liquid within, swallowing it down and placing the cup back on its saucer. "What's your biggest regret?" The question was out before Kyo could contemplate if opening that box of worms was worth it or not. But once he'd said it, he found peace within it, knowing whatever the answer was... for this moment, it could hold a reflection of his own.

Die considered it, picking up his spoon and stirring in more creamer into his coffee. Some things did change... once upon a time, he'd taken it blacker than dirt and now... it was more cream than coffee. He tapped the spoon on the edge of the cup and placed it back on the counter, simply putting his hands back around the cup rather than drinking from it. "Not the simplest thing you've ever asked me." Die's eyes caught his own. "But you've never been without a reason to ask such a thing. I suspect it's not so much my answer you're after as your own."

Kyo's lips quirked for a second before he leaned forward, bracing both forearms on the rickety table between them. He leaned in closer than he'd usually have dared... close enough to smell the scent of Die's cologne, the undertone of the laundry soap he used. For a moment, he savored it... debated what the right thing to do was. There was always the slim chance that admitting something so deep-seated could throw Die out of his life forever. But that was far-fetched and he knew it. Even if Die didn't react favorably to it, the other would never be so harsh as to do such a thing. He loved the people around him and his heart was bigger than anyone had ever given him credit for. To disappoint would be something that would cause Die great pain... and Kyo doubted his confession would range up into something that Die would cut them both so deeply for.

Taking in a deep breath, he placed his faith in the man he knew to be sitting across from him... the idea of it being out in the open at long last making him bold. "My deepest regret is that for all these years you've never known what you've actually meant to me." There it was... his cards on the table, the confession not quite complete, but more open than it'd ever been.

Die considered him for a few long moments and then let out a laugh; not just some small, half-assed thing... no. The laugh he let out was freeing, glorious in its ability to make Kyo smile even though he had no idea why Die would be laughing about this. But it was crystal clear that Die was _not_ laughing _at_ him, and that was all that mattered. 

The former guitarist sobered up and reached to put his hand on top of Kyo's own. Long fingers curled around Kyo's smaller ones and he squeezed with what strength was left in them after all these years. "If that's your biggest regret... then mine has to be never telling you that I've always known."

Kyo's gaze clouded with confusion, a certain twang of pain wrenching through him that Die had known... and obviously didn't feel the same way if he hadn't reciprocated. But... if he knew, then at least they had this... what they'd always had. He carefully schooled his features into those of acceptance and just treasured the feeling of the other's hand upon his own for the time being.

"Hey..." Die's foot nudged his under the table as he tilted his head just the slighted bit. He regarded Kyo for a moment and then shook his head. "You're taking that in the all the wrong ways, I can tell."

Kyo breathed out a soft sigh. "Then tell me what the right way to take it is." Maybe this conversation had been a long time coming... maybe he should have put it off for another ten years. But either way, they were here now and he'd see it through.

Die reached over, one faintly trembling hand, cupping Kyo's cheek for a moment before he pulled it back and placed it back around his coffee mug. "I've known... I've just been waiting. It wasn't my step to take... it never was. And now that you've taken it... well..." he lifted his eyes to meet Kyo's full-on, "here I am. Just where I've always been."

For an instant the world seemed to fade out from around them, leaving only the pair of them spinning in the midst of the universe. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. Maybe it was cliché... perhaps it felt like a moment out of every single movie Kyo had ever hated... but some part of him recognized that there was a reason those movies existed. Someone had felt this moment and craved to experience it again and again. Perhaps they'd lost what came after it... perhaps the rest was too dull for them. But for him, it was just another instant of recognition of an emotion, analysis, and then plunging forward just the way he always had. And he didn't even hesitate on it, not for a single second longer than it took him to come up with what he was to do.

Abandoning his cup of tea, he pushed himself up, never letting go of Die's hand. He didn't stop, pulling him outside into the rain. Standing there, letting the sky pour down on them, he stepped in close to the guitarist and then opened his umbrella, holding over both of their heads. Letting out the softest breath, he whispered, "Share my life with me every day?"

And it was Die who completed the moment... Die who stepped in and leaned down, catching Kyo's lips with his own, sealing the deal through his actions. He left it chaste; gentle and romantic. And when he pulled back, his smile was bigger than Kyo had seen it in years. "Wherever you go... I'll follow."

"No... right beside me. Never behind. Never in front. I want you by my side until I die."

Die's fingertips pushed his hair back from his face, raindrops coursing down his cheeks. "Always and forever the poet, aren't you?" He slid his arm around Kyo's shoulders and started them off down the street to his station. The past sat firmly behind them, the future spanning ahead, and right then... right in front of them... was everything Kyo had ever wanted. 

**The End**


End file.
